Okay.

Thinking about overload and spaces made. I know for those who have always meditated that the idea of space between is just normal. For me, it's not something I have considered.

I think, though, at times in my life I made space in my own ways.

Later I started filling space with anything I could find, fearing it.

Here, now, I am interested and willing to make a little space again: have done, actually. Just a little.

It IS frightening, though, that space. I know that what I have feared is the noises that try to crowd in where space is. I know that I'm still scared of those noises: anxiety, depression, fear, anger, embarrassment, painful memories, anticipations. I have been good at filling with sand where those things might crop up, but they have become insistent again.

So, with the patient (and sometimes impatient) tutoring of my SL and RL mentors..I am opening little spaces, and watching those things (mostly) rise and fall away instead of hitting a wall where they batter at me. It IS working better.


Still...there is alot of fear, alot of resistance. I am glad to remember that there is no hurry, that I have time, that there is no deadline.